Sharing a family resemblance can keep away some awkward questions. It’s up to you how much to reveal, and to whom. New parents are often asked “Who does your baby look like?” or “Where was she born?” But such questions evoke complex emotions in new adoptive mothers. Some may proudly reveal that their baby was […]
Archive | Adoption
Budding Curiosity: Talking about adoption Ages 3 to 5
Between the ages of three and five, children love hearing the story of how you became a family, and begin to ask their first, simple questions about adoption. AF takes you inside the mind of your preschooler, and offers tips for talking. You’ve probably been telling your child her adoption story from the first day […]
Surviving a Winding Road
What should you be prepared for when pursuing adoption, and how can you lessen the risk of heartache along the way? by Carrie Krueger As adoptive parents know, the light at the end of the tunnel is truly worth it—parenthood! But our journeys may be filled with twists and turns, and, possibly, a detour or […]
First Year Home: Now What?
Most adoptive parents come home with their new child unsure how to meet all his needs, and to form a strong attachment. Our experts answer common questions from that first year. by Editorial Team Before adopting, Adoptive Families readers uniformly report that their biggest worry is about attaching to their child. Although we may know […]
New Kid on the Block
Learn the when, how, and why of explaining a new sibling to you child, and easing the adjustment. by Lisa Milbrand When we decided to adopt for a second time, we were worried about how our older (and slightly diva-ish) daughter would take to sharing the spotlight. As it turned out, we didn’t need to […]
Real Parents Discipline
Setting limits can be tough for parents–but it’s important to discipline our children anyway Watching preschoolers can be exhausting. They love to explore and play–and these little explorers have little impulse control and absolutely no sense of danger. They assert their developing independence by “escaping,” and it’s no wonder parents feel like they could use […]
Fantasies and Fears
Is your child entertaining a wild birth parent fantasy? Don’t worry — it’s totally normal. Around ages six to seven, children are capable of more complex thinking and begin to grasp what adoption means. This gives rise to new, sometimes alarming fantasies and fears. While many children daydream about another set of parents — who […]
Surviving Infertility: What it’s normal to feel, even after you adopt and fall in love with your child
After struggling for years to have a child, many couples may be caught up in their negative feelings about their infertility. It’s important to work through these feelings together. During a years-long struggle with infertility, couples feel intensely isolated and experience a range of emotions. Most of us expect these feelings to disappear after we […]
The Perfect Child
Fear that they were placed for adoption because of some flaw can turn some kids into perfectionists. Here’s how you can help them relax that drive. Emily was a talented gymnast—and clearly athletic—but she would not try ice-skating. She didn’t know how to skate, and she wasn’t open to the idea of a learning curve, […]
A Growing Awareness: All About Tweens
Between the ages of nine and 12, children register the meaning of adoption–and this can bring harder questions and more complex emotions. AF takes a look at what’s going on in the minds of preteens, and offers advice for talking with them. By the time your child reaches his preteen years, you will have probably […]
Fear of Losing You
Preteen adoptees may develop fears of a parent’s death or loss. Here’s what may be behind such worries, and ways to talk about them. Nine- to 12-year-old’s have seen disasters in the news and may have experienced the death of an older family member. So it’s not uncommon for kids this age to think about […]
Different, Yet the Same
As children reach school-age, they may start feeling different from their peers. Here are some strategies parents can use to help them find common ground. Between the ages of six and eight, children want to fit in with and measure up to their peers. At school they observe their friends’ families, and realize that their […]
The Facts of Life / Did I Grow In Your Tummy?
Explaining pregnancy and birth to your adopted child can be a tad complicated sometimes.AF‘s experts guide you through the tough questions. by Deborah Pope, Mary Ann Curran, Ronny Diamond, Marybeth Lambe, M.D. and
The Second Time Around
Considering adopting a second child? New questions may spring up — including how to break the good news to your first child. by Lisa Milbrand A few months after I officially became a mom, I knew I wanted to ride that roller coaster again — the mountains of paperwork, the lull of the wait, and […]
New Paths to Parenthood
As infertility treatment technology advances, more Americans are turning to assisted reproduction. Here, we look at some of the choices families are making. After trying for years to have children, Mark and Lucy Johnson* acknowledged a hard fact: Even if they could determine the cause of Lucy’s infertility, her eggs were probably too old to […]