First Mothers Day

Quotes from new adoptive moms about how it feels to celebrate their first or second Mother’s day

Christine, mother of Angela born May 8th, 2008

On my first Mother’s day we were driving our daughter home from the hospital. She was 3 days old. It was May 11th, 2008, and it was the most amazing day of my life.

On my second Mother’s day, we had just completed celebrating her first birthday, culminating the most amazing year of my life. So for me, this second Mother’s day really felt like the first, as I was in shock the year prior! To be honest, I think I was in a state of shock throughout most of that first year!

To celebrate Mother’s day, I went to church and thanked God for our beautiful, healthy and happy little girl. We didn’t really do anything else to honor this special day; though I suppose we should have! Being a mother is a day-in, day-out labor of love. My back hurts, so I asked for a couple massages as a gift instead of flowers or lotions. Being a mother makes you first and foremost a practical person! After years and years of suffering through infertility and praying for a child, it was incredible to me that once Angela was born, I was just thrust into the role of mother –changing diapers, making bottles, researching and buying gear (!), etc. I celebrate the fact that I don’t have much time to think about how I feel! I spent plenty of years with too much time to think about how I felt. 

Waiting adoptive parents should know that there will come a day when they feel exactly the same way I do: happy, grateful, blessed, yes-totally exhausted, and brimming with joy. I wish I could have known this more clearly while I was waiting to become a mother. I could have enjoyed the wait maybe a little more, the way other mothers enjoy their pregnancy. Yet being pregnant isn’t all it is cracked up to be (so people tell me!)-there are physical pains, emotional highs and lows, and the waiting. In this sense, it is not that different than the adoptive parent’s wait, though with the biological wait, the arrival timeline is certain and finite. It is the unknown arrival date that makes the adoptive wait more difficult, and seemingly infinite. However, there is a 100% success rate with adoption, and this is what I wish all waiting adoptive parents could keep in front of them. Don’t be afraid to be hopeful! It will happen to you too, and all those months and years, of waiting will be worth it! Trust me, I am living proof!

Chris Tolleson -mother of Liam, born March 27, 2008

My sister recently asked, “so what are we going to do on Mother’s day since it’s your first”. I know she wants to make it special. I guess part of me is still having a hard time believing that it’s real (maybe because having Liam with us is so new?). Anyway, when I do think about it and realize it to be true, I am overwhelmed with happiness. I can’t say that I ‘forget’ everything that I went through on this journey but I do look back on it with a different appreciation. Even differently than what I felt when we made the transition from fertility treatments to adoption. There is a greater sense of peace and a sense of knowing that Liam is meant to be with us and that he knew how to find his way to us.

Alex Glass -mother of Natalie, born July 28, 2007
How I feel:

– Truly understanding the meaning of being ‘blissfully happy.’
– Understanding what the phrase “the right baby will come to you” means. (I say this especially for those who have had interrupted domestic adoptions which we had.)
– I love seeing my husband, Wayne, come to tears of happiness as Natalie does something new and he says “we are so lucky, she is amazing.”
Adoption has resulted in my knowing 200% that biology has NOTHING to do with being a mother … thankfully.

Dianne Irving -mother of Nathan, age:

I am big on tradition and family and friends are excited that my first Mother’s Day is coming up. What are you going to do on the big day, what has your husband planned etc. etc.? However, as it approaches I find myself not desiring much at all. The fulfillment of being Mom runs deep and to be able to celebrate the day is euphoric.

Although being Mom gets tested when strangers are making comments fishing for the link between my bi-racial baby and me, or the yoga class teacher at Mom and Baby class says (in front of the class) was it hard for his mother to give him up, or when a neighbor says I can never get used to seeing you with a baby.

Some of it hurts, some dinks your confidence, and some comments roll off your back by the mere stupidity of the question. What makes up for it all is the joy I feel loving, cuddling and caring for my son. No matter what, I know deep down in my soul this is my son and I am Mom. My heart is full and I feel honored to be his mother. I will treasure always, my very first Mothers Day.

 

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Based in Pennington, NJ